


Marks on Our Souls

by Taurwen13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Mark (Harry Potter), F/M, Hogwarts, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, POV Lily Evans Potter, POV Regulus Black, Slug Club, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurwen13/pseuds/Taurwen13
Summary: Neither of them had asked for this. Fate had some kind of sick mind to think that a Pureblood elitist and a Mudblood could ever be Soulmates. But those kinds of bonds are much more powerful than merely words on their chests - something Regulus finds out the hard way after going to terrible lengths to break his and ends up putting both their lives at stake. Can he and Lily find a way to bring balance back to the bond between them? Or will they both succumb to the accursed sickness stemming from this new mark before they can find what makes their souls perfect for each other?Inspired by the Rare Pair Soulmate Fest in Hermione's Nook
Relationships: Regulus Black/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15
Collections: Hermione's Nook Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all - so this fic was supposed to be part of the [Rare Pair Soulmate Fest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Hermiones_Nook_RarePair_Soulmate_Fest?fbclid=IwAR1Z_31CF_kqcx3YcmB6Y_yAeCa8RTQboWQeUXXrNDAYENHLgpCRL14XWgM), but my characters decided to not play by the rules and ended up putting me in the sticky position of trying to stay true to the story I was working on or possibly sacrificing elements I felt were crucial to the story but would be too close to someone else's assigned tropes in the fest. That and a few other deciding factors led to me choosing to post separately, but you guys should totally go read the other ones! Seriously! Right after you read mine. :)
> 
> As far as the inspiration for my fic, when I signed up for the fest we were allowed to pick any rare pairings that had less than 500 stories here on AO3, and the admins of the fest would assign the trope. I was also allowed to request I get a HEA one. As you can see, I selected Lily Evans and Regulus Black for my pairing and was given the trope "The first sentence you say to your soulmate is written on yourself, after you say it."
> 
> Shout-outs to the fest admins, [noxsoulmate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxsoulmate) and [ArielSakura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielSakura) for hosting such an awesome fest and working with me on this, as well as [Mrs_Poncey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Poncey) for being my beta and helping me Brit pick this poor thing.

Lily Evans was running down the halls late to Charms yet again; something that threatened to become a recurring problem in her fourth year, for various reasons. This time, she had fought with Potter about whether he has a pet dog that he kept trying to slip into the Common Room. Amidst his and Black's snickering she had flown off to the nearest loo, intending to calm down before class. As soon as she realized how late she was going to be, she had taken off at a sprint.

Unfortunately, her timing meant the third years were coming out as she was making her way through the halls, forcing Lily to work to get through

"Excuse me. Pardon me. Lookout! Sorry, so sorry. I just—excuse me!"

It took her a bit to make it even close to the door to Charm’s class, and just as she was making a lunge through the end of the crowd she ran head first into someone else, knocking him to the floor.

"Sorry, so sorry!"

Lily reached down to help pull him up, only to be greeted with a scowl as he jerked his hand away and picked himself up. It was then she registered the green insignia on his robe as he tried to straighten it.

The boy sneered at her in disgust. "Aren't you that mudblood that hangs out with my brother?"

Before she could answer, he shoved past her, knocking his shoulder against hers in his rush to get away.

"I don't need help from scum like you."

Lily reached for the doorknob dumbfounded and in tears as she slipped into the back of Professor Flitwick's class.

*****

It had been a long day of dealing with people, and Regulus Black was thankful for the chance to get some of his frustration that night out on the Quidditch pitch during practice. He had spent a bit of extra time flying about—darting around the stands and between the goal hoops—before landing and heading off to the showers.

It was oddly quiet when he entered. Usually, at least one of his teammates would still be finishing up, but tonight the locker room was dark and empty. It didn't phase Regulus at all—he was used to the dark and comfortable being alone—but still turned up the lights before heading to the showers.

He didn't notice it at first, spending a good five minutes just standing under the water as it rushed over him, but as he went to wash his chest he noticed a blood—red flowing script there that he'd never seen before.

As he registered what it said, he threw up in the shower before throwing on his clothes and storming off to his dorm.

*****

Lily was tired. Between her fight with Potter and running into Black's younger brother, she had spent the rest of the day short tempered, causing her to snap at everyone and everything that even mildly annoyed her. She decided she needed to go up to bed after she yelled at Remus before realizing he was just offering her some chocolate. She had apologized before taking it from him and headed upstairs.

Lily was munching on the sweet now as she changed into her pyjamas, focusing so hard on its taste that she didn't even notice her room—mates come in.

"What the—hey, Lily…?" Ariana began, a concerned look in her voice.

"Yes, what is it now?" Lily grumbled as she pulled her shirt on and moved to button it, still not wanting to deal with people.

"It's your chest!" Jo examined excitedly. "How long have you had your Soulmate mark?"

Puzzled, Lily dropped her gaze towards her heart. Clear as day, she noticed the words 'Sorry, so sorry,' written there in a firm, precise handwriting she didn’t recognize.

"The fuck is that!" Lily almost screamed, trying to rub the mark off with no luck.

"I told you, it's a Soulmate mark!" Jo reiterated with a slight eye-roll.

The two Muggle born witches looked at her thoroughly confused.

"It's a mark—"

"Yeah, we got that part," muttered Ariana.

"—that appears when you first speak to your Soulmate. It records the first words you ever say to them."

"Ooo! Tell us, tell us!" Ariana insisted, "who's the lucky person!"

"I—I'm not sure," Lily admitted. "I was pushing through a bunch of third years trying to get to Charms class and I said that to so many of the students."

An unbidden thought came to Lily's mind. She couldn't remember exactly what she had said when she slammed into Black's brother. But surely it wasn't him? She decided not to mention him as a possibility to the other two witches. Knowing full and well that if she did, it would be broadcasted around the dorm, and half the school in a matter of days. No, it was heaps better if she kept that to herself and hopefully in time forget all about it.

Surely it wasn't him...

*****

It had been over a year since that fateful day, and nothing Regulus did would remove the mark. He had ceased showering in the locker rooms, changing with the curtains open in his dorm room, or anything that might let someone see his chest. As hard as it was to avoid people at Hogwarts, though, being home at Grimmauld Place had been worse. He even had to swear Kreacher to secrecy — a risky move because he wasn’t sure that the house elf would be able to keep such a thing from his parents — his rightful and current masters — but it was necessary to see if his magic might work.

Poor Kreacher had become quite upset when he couldn’t find a way to help him. Not just with the mark, but also because it insinuated that his young master was destined to be with a mudblood. That alone was apparently more than enough incentive for him to not let Master Orion and Mistress Walburga find out at any cost.

They had created a little system when he was home — a series of knocks that would let Regulus know when the coast was clear to get to and from the bathroom, extra house elf magic to keep his bedroom door from opening as easily, or on rare occasions creating a distraction that blocked the other members of the family in such a way they could blame Kreacher for just being old and clumsy.

Regulus was currently sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for the signal to say he could make his way to the shower without being bothered. It didn’t take long before the familiar knock—knock, knock knock KNOCK, knock—knock echoed into the room.

He grabbed his clothes, opened the door and was immediately greeted with the familiar sounds of yelling. Even over Christmas break, he had to ward his room heavily to keep the sound out. It seemed this time his brother was quarrelling with their mother over yet another scantily-clad mudblood poster plastered onto his wall. Regulus shook his head and made his way down the hall to the bathroom.

It didn’t take him long to do his morning routine, and he had just finished towel drying his hair when he noticed his shirt must have fallen from his grasp in his haste to get to the loo unnoticed. Cursing, he threw on the rest of his clothes and wrapped a towel around his shoulders before tentatively poking his head out the door.

He had almost made it back to his room when Sirius came storming up the stairs. In his haste, Regulus couldn’t tell if he had run into his brother or if Sirius had knocked him down, but what he did realize was that his towel had flown off in the process.

Sirius had a look of shock at first before he pulled up his brother and dragged him into his room, grabbing his wand off his dresser and casting a silencing spell as he did.

“What in Merlin’s name is that?” the older Black demanded as soon as the room was secured.

“I don’t see any reason I need to tell you that.”

“Alright, then I will just tell Mother and Father—”

“No!” Regulus insisted. “Anything but that.”

“Fine. Then tell me exactly why ‘Aren't you that mudblood that hangs out with my brother?’ is scrawled on your chest in Lily Evan’s handwriting.”

“Why the bloody hell do you think, you witless lion? It’s a damn Soulmate mark and you know it!”

“Fair. When did you get it?” Sirius asked, a bit calmer than earlier.

“Third year. Damn witch slammed into me coming out of charms one afternoon, that’s the only time I’ve ever interacted with her.”

There was a pause before his brother replied. “I knew Lily might have one — her room-mates are terrible gossipers — but it was easy to dismiss as nonsense as even she seemed to have no clue who she would be tied to.”

“She’s not.” Regulus explained simply. “There is no way I am soul bonded to such filth. I refuse to accept it. Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that my heirs will be house elves.”

He watched as Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Lily’s actually quite nice — if you don’t get on her bad side. She’s smart as a whip too, and a spectacular spell caster. Much better than most Pureblood wizards I’ve met. It’s easy to see why James has the hots for her.”

“Then he can have her,” Regulus spat. “I will not sully our house with such rubbish. Now, are you going to let me get dressed or continue to ruin my day?”

“Oh, I doubt that would be much of a problem. I’ve decided to take up James’ offer to move in with him and his parents. I was actually coming up to grab my things and say goodbye.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long. It will be much quieter here without you around for sure.”

He waited a moment, unsure of whether he should finish out his thought.

“Maybe even too quiet.”

Sirius wrapped his brother up in a hug, causing the younger wizard to feel quite awkward at the sudden embrace and more than a little panicked.

“I knew you’d miss me. There’s always room for one more if you ever come to your senses about all this blood supremacy bullshit. Who knows, I might even be able to put in a good word with Lily for you.”

“Do that,” Regulus informed him with an icy glare, “and I will personally unleash a hell-storm of hexes on you upon my return from winter break.

Sirius let go of him and backed up slowly with his hands held in front of him like a shield. “Okay, okay, I won’t. But you’d be surprised how much you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”

Regulus scowled silently as he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his shoulders before shoving past his brother in search of a shirt.

“Oh, Regulus — one more thing before I go.”

With one hand on the knob to his room, he turned to release one final glare at his brother.

“What?”

“Take care of all the pin-up posters for me, yeah? I doubt Mother will be able to get rid of them quite as easily as she got rid of me.”

Regulus just shook his head in disbelief before heading into his room and slamming his door.

*****

It was the first Slug Club meeting after winter break and Lily couldn’t be happier. Feasts at Hogwarts were delicious, but Slughorn’s parties could always somehow top them. She also enjoyed the diversity of different houses coming together— mostly. More than once she had wondered whether certain members of the group would have been invited had the host not been the head of Slytherin House. At least at these dinners, they tended to curb most of the hostility they typically directed towards her. Any other time Emma Vanity, and that damn Black boy would be sneering together and calling her the most hurtful of names, but here they would be somewhat civil to her and the other Muggle borns.

She had had some difficulty locating her dress robes — finally finding them at the bottom of her trunk with the rest of the clothes her mother had washed and still needed unpacking — and as such was ever so slightly behind getting ready. She wouldn't be late, but she wouldn't be early either.

Racing through the halls towards the dungeons she managed to arrive just as her professor was setting out his unique hourglass.

"Ah, Miss Evans, do come in. You are just in time."

She smiled in acknowledgement of his words before scanning the room for empty seats. Most were already taken, and what was left didn't fill her with delight. There was one between Sev and Professor Slughorn and another next to Black. She was torn and could see the look in Sev’s eyes pleading with her to take the seat next to him, but she was stubborn and still wouldn’t forgive him for what he had called her. So in the end, she considered the lesser of two evils, and squeezed in between Regulus and a Hufflepuff boy she didn’t remember seeing there before. Sev looked heartbroken, but Lily almost didn’t care at this point.

Though as sad as Severus had looked, Black seemed much more uncomfortable. For the life of her—she had no idea why, but she scarcely had time to think about it before Professor Slughorn addressed the group.

“Attention, everyone. I wanted to thank all of you for coming tonight. You can all see we have a few new faces at the table tonight. Let’s see, ah yes, most of you probably don’t know Flume here — Ambrosius Flume.”

“Hello,” the boy seated next to Lily muttered softly with a slight head bow.

“And we had one other — ah, yes, here he is.”

A tall, lanky boy in a green robe sauntered in, the expression on his face unreadable as he took the last remaining seat at the table.

“Thaddeus Fawly, how good of you to finally make it. Now then, where was I? Ah yes, I hope everyone makes our newest members feel right at home in our little...soiree. And, as always, a toast, to Hogwarts’ best and brightest.”

Slughorn waved his wand over the table, causing the goblets to fill with liquid. Lily lifted her goblet in unison with the others before taking a sip of perfectly chilled butterbeer.

Well, almost everyone. She was surprised to see Black’s hand shaking as he reached for his glass,clipping it against his plate when he placed it back down. For someone raised in a high etiquette pureblood household—as she knew he was—she would have assumed he’d be much more fluid in such an environment. Come to think of it, normally he _did_ have a much more regal bearing about him, and she was perplexed at the sudden change.

Apparently, she wasn’t the only one.

“Black, my boy, everything alright tonight? You seem a little jumpy.”

“Everything is fine, Professor,” he replied, a little more clipped than his normal speech. “My apologies if I disrupted dinner. It won’t happen again.”

“Nonsense, not to worry, not to worry, you haven’t disrupted anything. Though speaking of dinner, I guess we better start then, hadn’t we.”

A moment later the table was filled with mint jelly lamb, beef wellington, and all sorts of other things Lily had only dreamed of trying as a child. She knew others at the table had feasted on such things most of their lives, but to her it was almost a magic in and of itself. She savoured each bite of her meal, barely remembering to add to the rotating discussion around the table.

Despite what he had told Professor Slughorn, Black was contributing even less than she was. She knew it wasn’t because he was enjoying his food like she was—in reality, he seemed to barely eat, sliding what food he had on his plate back and forth with his fork.

Black jumped particularly high as she accidentally grazed his arm when she reached for more potatoes, spoon dropping from his hand and startling everyone enough to look their way.

Lily braced herself, expecting a slew of obscenities directed at her for touching him, but it never came. He merely breathed in heavy , reached to refill his drink, and turned a cold shoulder towards her. Something about it stung, and she had no idea why. There was no reason for her to seek any kind of interaction with him, yet this lack of one somehow hurt deep inside her chest. Unless...no, she had told herself long ago that there was no way Black could be her Soulmate, and chastised herself for even thinking of such nonsense again.

Instead, she busied herself by talking to the charming young boy beside her, intrigued on how he planned to open a candy store one day, and their mutual interest in chocolate. Lily was so caught up in conversation with him, she made it through both the rest of dinner and her dessert without realizing it, and was almost sad to end it.

“Alright now, settle down everyone,” Professor Slughorn called over the table. “We are going to try something new for next dinner.” He waved his wand as the stack in front of him and it spread out in front of each person.“You will note the quills and paper in front of you. Now, before you leave tonight, I want you all to write down something you would like to be served at our dinner in February . I’m rather curious to see what all of you decide on.”

Lily reached for her paper and quickly wrote down—treacle tart, before placing down her quill. She quietly glanced around the table as everyone else finished contemplating their choices. Her gaze involuntarily came to rest last upon Black’s paper as he began writing.

She watched in horror as a firm and precise handwriting wrote a single word.

Sorbet.

Everything in her world halted as she stared unblinkingly at those letters—so familiar to her and yet so foreign. Tears tried to form as she was forced to realize what she had feared for so long.

“Professor, if you would excuse me, I—um—I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. Too much pie I’m afraid.”

“I understand Miss Evans. Thank you for coming. Run along and I’ll see you in class on Monday.”

As she stood to leave, her eyes locked with Black’s. In a moment of clarity she could tell he also knew, as he broke away from her glare, swore under his breath, and crumpled the offending paper in front of him.

Lily all but ran from the room, taking off in a full sprint as tears began to stream from her face. Sad, almost forlorn tears at first that turned more into hot angry ones with each slap of her feet against stone. By the time she had entered the Gryffindor Common Room, the red head was fuming.

“YOU!” she screamed, pointing towards where Potter and Black were sitting over a chess game with such fury that everyone in the near vicinity jumped and cleared from her path.

“Look, Lily, I can explain,” Potter began, standing up into a defensive position as she charged towards them. “ I don’t know what I did, but—”

“Not you!” she snapped, “HIM!”

Grabbing Black by the necktie, she dragged him towards the portrait hole, one brave Gryffindor managing to get out a cat—call before earning a glare that sent the poor boy scurrying to his room, but Lily had bigger problems to deal with.

She pulled him down the hall and threw him into the first empty classroom she came to before she let loose of his tie.

“Lily, what the? I’m flattered, but you aren’t exactly my type...”

Another look from Lily and he was silenced.

“I need to ask you a question,” she finally calmed down enough to say.

“Al—alright. What?”

“It’s about your brother. I assume you can recognize his hand writing, yeah?”

“A pretty good assumption as I have seen it pretty much my entire life,” he chuckled.

Lily swore under her breath, causing Black recoil further away as if he was expecting to be hit.

Slowly, she started undoing her dress robe to pull down her collar before Black reached out to stop her.

“There’s no need to show me — I already know my brother’s script is across your chest.”

She gasped before slapping him hard across the face.

“Why you cheeky, perverted—”

“No, you don’t understand — it’s not like that, I swear! I only know because I saw yours on his chest a few days ago.”

“You knew — and you didn’t tell me!”

“Well, I thought — most people know at least who they were talking to when their mark shows up, so why wouldn’t you?”

“It’s — complicated,” she admitted as she slumped down into a nearby chair.

“Tell you what, how about you tell me your side of the story, and I won’t blab about this all over the school, okay?”

Lily scowled, momentarily debating actually slugging him in the face.

“Okay, so I won’t do that, but please, in all sincerity — can you tell me anyway? I might be able to help.”

She paused in thought a moment, weighing in her mind how badly she needed to confide in someone against how likely he would be to laugh with Potter about this in the common room later.

“Alright — but just because I need to get it off my chest, okay?”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything as he twirled a chair around and sat facing her in it.

“I was running late to charms back in fourth year — late enough I had to wade through a whole group of third years coming out of the classroom as I got close. I must have apologized to over a dozen of students that day, the last one being when I slammed into your brother and knocked him to the ground.”

“That explains what was on his chest…”

“I honestly don’t remember what he said to me, only that it hurt.”

“Well, he asked if you were the girl that hung out with me, but...he didn’t call you a girl.”

“What did he call me then?”

“Merlin’s beard, witch!” he exclaimed with a bit of fear on his face. “I saw what you did to Snivellus when he called you that — I’m not about to mutter in front of you — or anyone for that matter!”

Lily tried to rage a moment before falling forward in her chair, sobbing. Without missing a beat, she felt an arm around her shoulders as Black moved beside her.

“Hey, hey there, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” she managed to get out between sobs. “What’s wrong is my Soulmate hates me — hates everything about me — and he has a constant reminder of it on his chest. And now I know that I’ve got a Pureblood elitist’s writing on my chest for all time.”

“Well, not necessarily all time — they are supposed to disappear if you fall in love with one another.”

Lily tensed, causing Black to leg go of her.

“Like that will ever happen,” Lily grumbled quietly.

“He’s not _all_ bad,” Black insisted. “I mean, sure, he’s a prick, a bit obsessed with Voldemort and blood supremacy, but he’s also loyal to a fault, a bit brilliant, not quite as handsome as me but passable, pretty damn courageous for someone not in Gryffindor, and — I’m not selling him very well, am I?”

Lily was shaking in sobs at this point, and was grateful when Black gripped her shoulders to keep her upright.

“Though I would like to ask — you told me how you got your mark, but not how you figured it out it was my brother. What happened tonight?”

“It was at the Slug Club dinner. Slughorn asked us to write down what we would like to have to eat at our next meeting and he wrote down sorbet.”

He looked at her like a confused puppy for a moment before she realized he didn’t understand. 

“My Soulmate mark says ‘Sorry, so sorry!’ on it.” 

His face fell, the expression somewhere between anger and concern, only changing as she began to chuckle like a mad woman.

“Imagine, both of us being cursed with things that remind us of how wretched our Soulmates are to us — him having the constant reminder of what filth he was marked with and me, forever seeing mine as an apology to him for what I am in his eyes — nothing more than a stupid mud—”

“Hey — don’t call yourself that! You aren’t mud or filth or anything his lot has called you — you are just as much a part of this world as James and I are, and don’t you ever consider it to be otherwise, okay? I’ll personally hex you if you try to call yourself that again.”

“Thanks...Sirius,” she smiled faintly, trying the new name out for the first time.

“Don’t mention it, Lily. Now, why don’t we head back before James starts telling everyone we’re off snogging or some such.”

A laugh — a real laugh — escaped her lips as she wiped away her tears before following her classmate — and newfound friend — back to their common room.


	2. Chapter 2

Regulus looked down towards his forearm once again as the train began to pick up speed leaving the station. He didn’t need to roll up his sleeve to visualize the mark as it still burned with latent magic. It had been a parting gift from his parents — The Dark Lord himself had come to their home towards the end of summer and, after he had pledged his loyalty to him and his cause, had personally branded him with his Dark Mark. He had hoped that strong dose of dark magic would rid him of his other, more revolting mark from years earlier, but when he had checked that night with Kreacher it was still there. The house elf had calmly patted his shoulder that night as he worked through very conflicting emotions — anger, hatred, depression, and a few he couldn’t quite figure out — staying as long as Regulus had needed to recover his composure. 

He wished again that he could take the elf to Hogwarts with him, but he knew the rules as well as how his parents would react to finding their servant missing. He resigned himself to another year of solitude, one constantly checking and double checking locked doors and empty showers, being called prude even for a Pureblood.

His thoughts were interrupted by noises outside his compartment followed by the door sliding open.

“He’s in here, guys!” yelled Barty, the youngest of their group, to the small pack of his — not really friends, Regulus admitted, but more like—minded individuals that he could be at least somewhat more relaxed around.

Barty Crouch, Severus Snape, and Sam Davis stormed into the cramped area — along with some witch in Hufflepuff robes he didn’t recognize on Sam’s arm. Glaring, Regulus went to open his mouth when the older wizard cut him off.

“Relax, Reg — she’s cool. Look!” Sam exclaimed, pulling the girl’s shirt down enough to reveal a blood-red script across the top of her breasts in his hand—writing. “She’s the one!”

The girl half-heartedly swatted at him, but seemed to enjoy the attention. It made Regulus nearly throw up in his mouth again just thinking about his.

“This is Trixie. We ran into each other again over the summer and things have been wild ever since — am I right Trix!”

“That’s right, Sammy!” she replied before locking lips with him.

The other three boys in the compartment leaned as far away from the couple as they could, and Regulus wondered how long he could take this before forcibly evicting them to another location on the train.

“Speaking of marks,” piped up Barty with excitement, “show us yours, Reg!”

“What?” he yelped in panic. “How — how do you know about that.”

The young wizard rolled his eyes. “Just about all of our families suspect you had a visit from the Dark Lord, and your father is much too old to join the noble ranks of the Death Eaters so…”

“Oh, yes, THAT mark. Of course. Yeah, it’s right here.”

Regulus rolled up his left sleeve and presented it for the rest of the car to see. Even Sam stopped his wandering hands to come have a look. 

“Wicked,” muttered Barty. “I can’t wait until I’m old enough to get mine. How bad did it hurt?”

“Terribly. But it was worth it to prove my worth to the Dark Lord.”

“What mark did you think he had met, Regulus?” piped up Severus from his corner of the compartment. “Surely you don’t have a Soulmate mark as well?”

Barty momentarily looked like he was going to forcibly check before Sam laughed.

“That old prude? There is no way any girl is going to be good enough for that Black. His brother on the other hand...”

Severus visibly tensed up a bit at the mention of Sirius.

“Don’t worry, pal,” Sam told him, slapping a hand on Severus’ shoulder as he did, “I doubt that Evans girl you seem so obsessed with has fallen for that idiot’s antics. Even as a mudblood she seems to have higher standards than — Crap — forgot you hated that word.”

Severus had forcibly removed Sam’s hand at the slur and half tossed him against the door. Regulus was happy at the change of subject — for a moment he was sure Barty was about to dredge up his darkest secret, but it seemed the compartment had all but forgotten the accusation. 

Well, everyone but Severus. Regulus wasn’t quite sure what was going on in that mind of his, but a slight sneer and the look in his elder’s eyes made him question whether Severus was done with that line of questioning.

“Hey — Reg, is your mark supposed to do that?”

Regulus glanced down to where Barty was pointing and was shocked to see if almost fading into a greenish black hue along the edges. He slammed his sleeve back down and tried to think quickly of a deflection.

“Must be some fluctuation as my body still adjusts to the magic in the mark itself. It’s nothing.”

There was finality in his voice that made the rest of the car hush — a trick he had honed being around his parents that served him well when he needed to use it.

“You guys aren’t as much fun this year — come on, Trixie — let’s find another compartment where we can have some ‘alone’ time.”

The witch giggled as she exited the compartment.

“See you later, boys!”

The three boys that were left looked at each other and seemed to have the same thought. It was Barty that spoke up first.

“So help me, if he tries to smuggle her into our dorm he’s becoming my personal hex practice dummy.”

The other two nodded in agreement before growing silent. Not many words were said the rest of the ride aside from acquiring sweets from the trolley lady, as Regulus made it clear that he didn’t feel like talking. As the other two slid together to better bond over Chocolate Frogs, he pulled his feet up onto the opposite seat and closed his eyes, trying not to concentrate on the odd sensations coming from his arm.

*****

Lily had been feeling a bit ill since she left home. She chalked it up to homesickness for a bit, but she was starting to have more trouble breathing and her chest wouldn't stop hurting. At the insistence of her friends (and under orders from Professor McGonagall once they had told her as well) she was now on her way to the hospital wing to see Madam Pomfrey.

She sighed — or at least tried to — as she reached the double doors to the wing and attempted to push them open.

A moment after she gave up, they opened wide, revealing a tired matron waving her wand as she charmed open the doors.

"Miss Evans, is everything all right? Come in, come in and sit down before you collapse — if I've told Albus once I've told him a thousand times — these doors are far too heavy for our students."

Lily was half led, half whisked to the closest bed. As they moved, Madam Pomfrey instinctively pressed a hand against her chest.

"Something is interfering with your heart. Can you unbutton your shirt so I can more accurately run a few tests?"

She winced a little at the idea — since that day in Slug Club she had done everything possible to avoid looking at her chest — and the thought of having it on display almost made her cry.

Still, something was wrong, and if she didn't let the matron help her now, she would just be dragged back up here by an irate Professor McGonagall. 

Unbuttoning her shirt, she averted her eyes as much as possible as she did as she was asked.

"Good gracious, child — your mark! — Why haven't you come here sooner!"

Lily risked a glance downwards and saw that her mark — once bloodred and static — was now fading around the edges into a sickly greenish—black hue.

"Something is happening either with you or the one you share your mark with — something evil no doubt — and it's interfering with the bond. Your body and magic are trying too hard to dispel it.. This kind of mark connects to your very souls, so whatever this is, it is attacking their soul and body as well. Do you have any idea what might be causing this? And with whom do you share your bond? They must be informed as they are in peril as well."

A momentary struggle waged in Lily's head as she debated whether or not to lie about her mark, but she was now quite concerned about what was going on.

"It's Black."

"Sirius Black? Hmm...I don't know anything that might—"

"No…his brother. Regulus Black."

The blood drained from Madam Pomfrey's face. Lily felt like the matron had suddenly figured out something quite dire, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was.

"This isn't good I'm afraid. There's only one thing I can think of that can scar a soul like this, and if Young Black has done what I fear, you are both in grave danger."

Lily shuttered as she tried to think of something that might scare the matron this badly, but nothing prepared her for what the matron said next.

"I’ve heard rumours he may have taken the Dark Mark. It is highly dangerous to do so once connected with a Soulmate. The inherent dangers of mixing such pure, innocent magic as that of the Soul with the tainted evils of the Dark can be...fatal."

Lily cried, trying to hide behind her hands as she did.

"I didn't ask for this. How come this is happening to me?"

"There, there child. I can whip up some potions for you to take to stall the process, but you won't be able to take them forever. Your body will eventually adjust to them, but it should give you time to work out something. I will try and figure out a way to get Mister Black to come see me as well. I'm afraid I can't report students for having a Dark Mark, but I am sworn to protect all students at this school, and he will need help to get through this as well. I’ll also check the library and discuss with a few Healers trained in Soul magics to see if there is anything else I will be able to do. Are you okay to handle classes today?"

Lily nodded, somewhat repulsed at the idea that the person doing this to her was going to receive help as well. Still, as much as she hated Black in that moment, a tiny part of her hoped he would be okay. Whether that was self-preservation or something else, she didn't know — but it was something she couldn't deny was there.

Heading down to breakfast, Lily was still wrecked with the chaos of a never ending swarm of thoughts and feelings she was struggling to understand when she was quickly swarmed by her fellow Gryffindors.

“Are you okay Lily?” inquired Peter’s timid voice before being drowned out by a sea of others.

“It’s the Paralyzing Pink Pox, isn’t it? You’re going into long-term quarantine and you’ve come to say goodbye?”

“Quit being daft, James, it can’t be that,” insisted Sirius, “More likely just a new plague designed to kill off people that eat too much chocolate, and you've come to warn us that Remus is next, right?”

Remus, however, was not in such a jovial mood. Lily had suspected for a while that he might have an ailment that he tried to keep from everyone, so she wasn’t surprised at his reaction.

“Seriously, Lils, are you alright? The whole tower heard McGonagall telling you to go to the infirmary and we’ve been worried sick.”

“It’s—it’s nothing. Madam Pomfrey gave me a few potions to help me feel better and she’s looking into whether or not there’s an underlying cause but I should be fine. Really.”

Peter seemed to be about the only one in the group she was able to convince, but no one seemed to push it. 

“Well, if you’re sure, then let’s sit down and eat,” James suggested. “I saw a wonderful looking platter of sausages when we came in.”

“Great, I’m starved!” hollered Sirius, but as the rest of the group headed towards their long table, he pulled Lily back a moment.

“This doesn’t have to do with my brother at all, does it?”

“Wh-what? No, not at all.”

“Hmph. Alright, if you decide to tell me you know where I usually am.”

“Curled up next to Remus pretending the rest of the world doesn’t notice?” Lily whispered through a bought of giggles.

“Oi, not so loud! I have a reputation to keep!”

Both of them momentarily lost themselves in laughter until Peter pulled them back to reality.

“Are you guys coming?” he inquired from a few steps away.

“Yes, come on Lils, food is calling and I must answer,” Sirius declared dramatically.

Lily smiled, forgetting for the moment all about her chest—her mark—everything that had to do with her Soulmate, and simply enjoying the brief escape from her reality that only spending time with those she loved could bring.

*****

To say Regulus was furious as he stormed out of the hospital ward was an understatement. After being lured in under the pretence of a Quidditch physical, he had been informed exactly why his Dark Mark was still not fully accepted by his body — and it was all tied to that damn mudblood. 

Armed with a small collection of potions to help him regulate everything and under orders to find a way to work things out with with that witch, he snarled at the thought that he couldn't even take solace in the idea that if he died, so did that red-headed bitch. No, he had to push on through this, prove to his new master that he was worthy of his new mark, find a way for this Soulmate magic to bend to the rightful power surging through his body, and if that meant doing what he had to do to keep her alive so be it. For now.

He had already missed breakfast over all this nonsense and let out a groan as he realized what his first class of the day was going to be. A joint N.E.W.T. level potions class for both 6th and 7th years. With that damn witch. He completely forgot when he signed up for the class that Slughorn merged both their grade levels ever Friday, so they could 'learn from each other' instead of just teaching the class himself like he's paid to.

He was running a bit late — the hospital ward was quite far from the dungeons after all — and slipped in just after Professor Slughorn seemed to have finished explaining something.

“Ah, yes, Mister Black my boy — come in, come in, we were just getting started. Everyone has already paired off with the partners they will be working with for the rest of the year, so I’m not sure where to put you lad. Maybe I can group you up over here with Mister Snape and—”

“Sorry I’m late, Professor!” announced a voice by the door — the last voice Regulus could have ever hoped to have heard in that moment as he realized exactly what was about to happen.

“Good morning there, Miss Evans! How could I have forgotten — It’s quite alright — Mister Black only just came in as well. And as you two seem to be the only ones without partners this is perfect. The two of you can come take that last table over on the right. Splendid! Now we can begin the actual potion making part of today’s lesson.Golpalott’s Third Law—”

Regulus wasn’t really paying attention. He had noticed the witch by the door seemed just as excited as he was at this arrangement — he had seen the blood drain a bit from her face before turning red with anger, something her red hair and freckles really accentuated and—

Damn, what was he doing? While he admitted he hadn’t ever really taken a good look at her, he reminded himself of what she was and quickly abolished any and all thoughts about how she looked as they both made way to their table.

While they were unpacking their belongings, Regulus tried to keep to his end of their space and was delighted to see that the witch was staying on hers as well. Somehow she was able to keep a quill going the entire time she was setting up the station, never missing a single point the professor was making in the process.

“—and what do we use if all else fails and we need a poison cure before we can whip one up? Mister Black, how about you? You’ve been even more unusually quiet than ever. Not getting to distracted over there with Miss Evans, are you?”

_ ‘Damn’ _ he thought, ‘ _ how could I have missed so much of the lecture already?’ _

The witch beside him seemed as uncomfortable as he was with all the attention, and turned a new shade of red as he did. Glancing over at her paper, he quickly scanned it until he saw something that might be plausible.

“A bezoar, sir. A stone from a goat’s stomach.”

“Excellent my boy! Five points to Slytherin. Now, everyone get the fires going under your cauldrons and let’s brew an antidote for the mix I put on your table. You have until the end of class to complete it.”

Regulus reached for the vial at the same time the witch beside him did, only her fingers missed as they grew closer to his and she managed to knock the bottle over.

“Sorry, so sorry!” she exclaimed as she went to set the vial upright.

Regulus sneered. “Is that the only thing you can say?”

“Depends,” she snapped. “Can you do more than just lob insults at people? Or am I not considered enough of a person to you?”

He decided the middle of potions class would not be the best place to confirm or deny her accusations, so instead picked up the poison they were supposed to be working with to study it before reaching for a handful of ingredients. Mudblood or not, he WOULD get this potion correct.

*****

Lily collapsed into one of the wingback chairs closest to the fire. The common room was nearly empty as most people had opted to go to lunch, but there was no way she was going to be able to be around that many people right now. Never had she been so angry — so frustrated — so annoyed as she was now.

A group of boys stormed past her as she glared into the fire, and she was so focused on the flames she didn’t immediately register who they were.

“You go on ahead, guys. I’ll catch up. Grab me a sandwich if I don’t make it down before Transfiguration, yeah?”

Lily groaned. She recognized that voice — the one that, for better or for worse, had been keeping an eye on here for a couple of years now, and he always knew when something was wrong.

“Hey, Lils. Everything okay? You just had Potions with Regulus, didn’t you?”

“Stalker,” she muttered under her breath before turning to Sirius with a small smirk. “You would notice something like that on my schedule.”

“More like a good guess. I knew both of you were taking N.E.W.T. levels this year, and everyone knows how unorthodox Slughorn teaches them. You never miss lunch and you looked pretty upset — more so than if you had merely been stuck in a room with him for a few hours — believe me, I know how terrible that can be. This is something different, yeah?”

He sat down in the chair next to her, and while Lily was a little annoyed at the fact he wasn’t leaving, having a chance to actually talk to someone about everything was something if she was honest with herself she really needed.

“It  _ is  _ about your brother. We got paired up in Potions for the rest of the year—”

Sirius let loose a long, low whistle as he scrunched his face up as if he was in pain at her words.

“—and after two hours of him barely talking to me and never accepting what I said to be true until everything else had been exhausted we had only made a passable poison antidote. Granted, it was still better than most people had as it worked. Sev had the best potion, though, and your brother was livid at me for it. I mean it’s not my fault we are getting sick from his…”

“Sick from his what?” Sirius asked, his head slightly askew like a lost puppy.

“Oh Merlin, I wasn’t supposed to mention that!”

Lily dropped her head into her hands as she tried to figure out a way to get out of this without telling Sirius exactly what was happening.

Swearing under her breath she scanned the room to make sure they were alone before whispering to him.

“I think your brother has the Dark Mark.”

The blood drained from Sirius’ face. “While I’m not entirely surprised, I can’t believe he’s done it already. He’s only 16 — not even of age yet. I never thought that even my parents would — but hold on. What does this have to do with you? Unless…”

Lily pulled the neck of her shirt down just enough for Sirius to see the top of one of the “S”s on her chest.

“Madam Pomfrey thinks the mark is interfering with our Soulmate marks. Mine is this sickly green mess instead of the crisp blood-red lettering it once was. I have potions to stall everything, as should your brother by now, and Madam Pomfrey is doing everything she can to find a more permanent fix, but — I’m scared, Sirius. I’m actually scared.”

Sirius came over and dropped to his knees in front of Lily and wrapped her in a big hug. “You can make it through this. You are one of the most fiery and resourceful witches I’ve ever met, and my brother is more self-preserving than self-sacrificing.. I’m confident you’ll find a way to work this out.”

Lily dropped her forehead to his and sighed—she knew he might be right and really hoped he was.

The sound of people whispering brought her back to the present. And she was certain she was about to have more rumours started over whether her mysterious soulmate was Black.

She hoped they would never know how close to correct they actually were.


	3. Chapter 3

Regulus had been in a foul mood all day. Most people knew to stay away — even Crouch was able to get it past his obsession long enough to not hang on his arm at dinner. He was just finishing the last of his pumpkin juice and collecting his things to bolt to the dungeons when he noticed a familiar gate walking his way.

“Evening, Reg. Mind if we have a little ‘chat’. Brother-to-brother and all that?”

“Step away from me now,” Regulus instructed him, trying to keep his voice level. “And I won’t hex you with one of Severus’ new spells.”

“Aw, no, you can’t do that. James would be utterly disappointed if he didn’t get to see them from the source. Besides,” Sirius dropped his voice and moved so his nose was almost touching his brother’s, “this is about Lily, and unless you want me to inform your little group about her, you’ll come talk to me in the spare room beside the Charms’ classroom in ten minutes. I’m sure your friends wouldn’t hesitate to strip you where you sit to confirm my words, am I correct?”

His brother left without waiting for a reply, embarrassingly ruffling his hair before leaving.

“Hey look,” Sam pointed out with a laugh. “Reg looks like Potter a bit now.”

The rest of the table, and some of the Hufflepuffs behind them, started laughing at his expense, and Regulus knew if he didn’t get out of the Great Hall he might regret what happened next — or at least regret the punishment that would follow.

Running through the halls he soon located the room he was instructed to find and wasn’t surprised to see his brother already sitting backwards in a chair facing the door.

“I knew you’d come,” the dolt observed with way more excitement than Regulus currently cared to hear in a voice.

“Spit it out, Sirius. I’m not here for pleasantries. I’m here because I have to be. Now get to the point.”

“I just wanted to let you know that this thing you have between you and Lily needs to be addressed. She said she thought you took the Dark Mark—”

“And what if I did?” sneered Regulus. “I am honoured to serve someone that hasn’t betrayed the true ideals of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. One that understands what you have chosen many times to deny — that we deserve more than being forced into dealing with the vermin plaguing our school. I just want to make the world a better place, and I'm doing it the best way I know how.”

“So it is true. Oh Reg, what mess have you gotten yourself into now?”

“You don’t know what it’s like — being bonded to that trash when I'm supposed to be finding a way to get rid of it. The Dark Lord’s power should have purged my connection to that filthy swine from my body instead of this. Nothing is stronger than his magic!”

“There is no magic stronger than love. Everyone knows that — even Mother and Father have mentioned their belief in that, not that I think it applies to them. I’m surprised they—. Wait. They don’t know, do they?”

“Tch. Like letting them know I’m bonded to a mudblood is a good idea — it’s literally written on my chest what she is. Kreacher was so certain that—”

“How am I not surprised that wretched elf knows about this when I barely do?”

“Don’t speak ill of him! He is a loyal servant proudly helping the Noble House of Black and I can only hope to be as loyal as he has been in my service to the Dark Lord.”

“But you can’t do anything if you're dead. Merlin, you have always been so thick at times—”

“I’m done having this conversation,” Regulus announced as he moved towards the open door. “I’ll find a way. I always do. I have to.”

The last sentence came out before he could catch it, a twinge of something he didn’t want to acknowledge he felt deep down inside, and like hell was he discussing it with his brother. Or anyone.

“Look, can you at least try not to be an ass for two seconds around her? Even you might be able to find something you like about her.”

Regulus thought back to earlier in class. “I guess she does take good enough notes I can cheat off it if I miss something again.”

“That’s...a start, I guess. I was thinking giving her chocolate.”

“Chocolate!” yelled Regulus. “It’s not a fucking date you dolt! How dare you—”

Sirius raised his hands in defense. “That’s not what I meant at all. I meant like a truce offering. Remus gives her chocolate any time she needs to calm down no matter how angry she gets at us, and she always says it makes her feel better. Just a thought.”

He stood up from his chair, spun it around, and walked past Regulus towards the door, pausing briefly by his shoulder.

“It can’t be worse than death. Just keep telling yourself that if it’s the only thing that works.”

Gritting his teeth, he waited for his brother to head off to Gryffindor tower before he turned towards the dungeons, desperately hoping no one saw them both emerge from the same room.

“Chocolate, huh?” he muttered to himself as he shook his head. She might be useful, though. Even mangy mutts can be good for something, and she could be his key to an easy year in potions.

He desperately tried to keep his thoughts occupied with how to best use her, failing to find anything strong enough to keep from them traveling back to earlier with no luck.

‘ _I have to’_ his mind kept playing. Over and over ‘ _I have to. I have to.’_

Have to what? This was what he wanted, right? To serve the Dark Lord and make their world better? It’s what he always wanted. It’s to be expected from a Black — at least any decent ones. So what was this nagging feeling he couldn’t shake?

He shook his head again before entering the Common Room, making a mental note to ask Sam for some of his secret stash of Ogden’s before bed. Hopefully that will quell whatever this is enough to let him sleep

*****

Lily dreaded heading to potions for the first time in all the years she’d been coming to Hogwarts. It was the second joint N.E.W.T. class and after having cornered Sirius as soon as he slipped up and mentioned seeing his brother she knew this was going to be awkward.

Still, class was class and the last thing she wanted to do was miss one of Slughorn’s lectures. She couldn’t imagine a better Potions professor than him, and it was almost enough to make being near Black tolerable.

Today she was early, and grabbed a table near the front in hopes it might curb some of the degradation she felt last time. Surely not even he would be so low as to insult her right in front of a professor, would he?

She didn’t have long to wonder before a whole slew of Slytherins entered, mostly taking seats along the back wall. Black seemed annoyed at her choice of location but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he tried to awkwardly hand her something, doing his best to hide it from the eyes behind him.

“What’s this?” she asked, fully expecting it to be a dung bomb or something.

“It’s...it’s chocolate. I heard it might work as a truce offering. You help me pass this year’s potions, I’ll try to curb some of the hostilities at my end. Deal?”

Lily glanced into the bag.

“This is one of the biggest hunks of Honeyduke’s chocolate I’ve ever seen!”

Black shrugged. “Does it come in any other size?”

Lily was reminded of how well off his family was as she stared in disbelief. Could she handle him better if he tried to be civil? She doubted she could help him do much better — he had made it in the class with top O.W.L.s after all — so this seemed like an easy deal on her part.

“Al-alright,” she finally managed to get out, ripping her eyes from the sweetie.

True to his word, he was certainly less abrasive today. It still didn’t end up being what Lily would call an enjoyable class, but he managed to actually listen to her a bit. She left for lunch in a bit of a daze, still trying to process the sudden change in her potion’s partner.

Ariana and Jo were already seated at the table chuckling to themselves and munching on sandwiches as she came over.

“Hi, how was advanced Ancient Runes?”

“Hillarious!” Jo informed her. “Ariana mistranslated one of the runes and it turned out kind of perverted—”

“—and we are NOT going into what it was in the middle of the Great Hall!”

“Fine,” chuckled Jo. “We’ll just tell you later before we go to bed.”

Lily smiled and placed her bag on the table with a loud *thump*.

“What do you have in there?” inquired Ariana, seemingly desperate to get the attention off of her for a bit.

“Oh, that?”

Lily frantically grabbed for her bag as she tried to think of a good excuse, but Jo and her Quidditch level reflexes beat her to it.

“What’s this?” she teased as to Lily’s horror she pulled out the bag with the chocolate in it.

“N—n—nothing! Give it back!”

Lily tried to rip the bag away, only to have it tear over the table letting the chocolate to fall flat onto the pile of sandwiches.

Mortified, she dropped her face into her hands.

“Dang, girl, that’s a ton of chocolate. Who on earth gave it to you? Potter? Or maybe Bla—ack?” Ariana taunted.

At the mention of Black, Lily could feel her cheeks burn with the tell tale sign that she was blushing. She had to think of an out — and fast.

“N-n-no. No. Just — Lupin thought I was going to have a terrible day spending another Potions teamed up with Black’s little brother that he gave me some chocolate to try and keep my day from being ruined.”

“Yeah, I don’t buy it. What do you think, Ariana?”

“You’re trying too hard. Next thing you know you’ll be trying to tell us Black’s brother was the one that gave it to you.”

All three girls laughed at that, though Lily’s was only half-heartedly. Neither of the other girls seemed to notice though as she retrieved the chocolate and wrapped it in one of the larger napkins on the table. Her eyes were dropped as she did and as such didn’t notice someone walking their way.

“What do YOU want, Snape?” sneered Jo. Lily popped up to see him almost on top of them as he stomped over.

“I’m just curious about what Regulus gave Lily in class today. That’s all. He’s seemed...anxious about it all week.”

“Probably just a headache knowing him, am I right, Lily? Lily?”

When Ariana didn’t get a response, the blood drained a little in her cheeks.

“You mean HE gave you that huge block of chocolate?”

Severus sneered. “So you’ll take gifts from him when you won’t give me the time of day anymore? That’s not fair — I know what he’s called you before. Much worse than that time I slipped up.”

“Relax, Sev, it’s not like that. He just wants me to help him in potions — that’s all.”

“So he’s using you, and you’ll accept bribes from him.”

“It’s not a bribe!” she insisted. “And he’s not using me. He’s—”

Lily covered her mouth with both hands as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She had almost outed both of them.

Grabbing the chocolate and her bag she ran from the Great Hall, half knocking poor Peter down in her haste to leave. She tried to think of where to go — if she ran back to her room surely her friends would find her and interrogate her even further. She just needed some time alone somehow.

Before she realized where her feet had taken her, she was on the seventh floor staring at a tapestry of someone trying to teach trolls how to dance. She chuckled abscently at the absurdity of it before noticing a door she hadn’t seen before across from it.

It was a very inviting door somehow, with bronze handles that looked like they were made to fit her hand perfectly with beautiful matching bronze and blue drawings on it. Cautiously, she opened the door and was shocked at what she found.

There in front of her was a small, dark room, about the size of a large closet, with a thick blanket folded on the floor beside a box of tissues. It was perfect — exactly what she had been needing—and once she entered and closed the door behind her it was oddly quiet. She had a strange feeling that she could sit here and cry for as long as she needed and no one could ever bother her.

Throwing the blanket over her head the tears immediately began streaming down her face. Sad ones at first as the feeling of helplessness washed over her. Thoughts of how she had never asked for this, didn’t deserve to ever be tied to someone that despised her very existence so terribly, much less being almost punished for it. She was sick—possibly dying—and for the first time the full weight of that realization hit her.

Lily pulled the blanket tighter around her. She hadn’t lied to Sirius when she had told him she was scared, but being so preoccupied with life as a seventh year and her studies she had been doing her best to avoid thinking of such fears. It had been easier that way—to put it off to deal with later—but here, here she couldn’t hide from it anymore. Her body wracked from the sobs as she processed things, and part of the rational side of her brain could tell this was a release she needed. 

In that moment, she decided to let herself become lost in a world consisting of naught but a quiet darkness, salty tears, the faint smell of good chocolate, and the softness of the warm blanket against her skin, and resolved to stay there for as long as this perfect world would embrace her.


End file.
